Random Thoughts (1)

I just read my high school mates blog and i was triggered to post about the things i worry about. And i want to using english for this post, just isengg anyway wkwkwkwk n to improve my english bcs my english so bad (i guess). 

Oke, now i am 26 yo, and just graduated last year in 2020 (omooo lama bgt kan aku kuliahnya, lebih tepatnya di skripsi sih) and until now i'm not getting a job huhuhhu so sad :')

I never imagined about this hard times in my life bcs i just thinked n imagined about my life will be bright as the sun i will continue my study to be a psychologist or i will work in a good company as a HRD team before my 26 yo. But the fact is so far from what i've been dreamed off. 

I feel like useless person, i don't have self confident enough to facing my life and my self too, i feel worry about my future (work, study, or soulmate), everythings is out from my expectation!

Ma mom always told me to work first before i get my master degree, at least i know how to get my own money and know if to get money is difficult. Besides my mom want me to know about work life.

And then i'm feeling guilty to my parents bcs i took a long time when i worked my thesis, i didn't want it but it happenned, that's why i never ask them to pay for my master's degree. To get master degree is not cheap, especially for my monthly living (alias uang bulanan n kos krn sudah pasti bukan di banjarmasin ngambil s2). btw kok ini rasanya bahasa inggris aing jelek bgt ya smpe ga bisa bedain v1 sama v2 .. yaudin lah..

I want to work but i've been rejected by several companies, many never call me for an interview or online psychology test. And also one company offered me to be an intership in their company, we talked about salary n intinya udah cinca-cinca lah, but after 2 weeks they informed if i was rejected bcs i'm not qualified for their company. WHAT THE HELL MEENNN!??? mereka loh yg nawarin aku mana udah saling oke dan deal di awal. Mana yg ngabarin aku ga diterima itu bukan dari irang yg wawancara aku 2 kali pula. Cuma yaudin lahhh.

I just believe Jesus will put me on the right place n on the right time, but i'm just human who worry about my future n always crying in the night.

New year will coming, i really hope a good news for my life, a good job maybe or a good income maybe or a good lover maybe hakhakhakhakhak 😂

Maybe this is all i can share this time, i wish i can get through these hard times. Thankyou. Bye-bye.